52 and Still Dreaming

Buffalo Half 2023

Last Sunday, I finished the Buffalo Half Marathon in just under 2 hours. 

In 2015 I finished the New York City Half Marathon in 1:32:58

In November I finished the Philadelphia Marathon in 4:17:47

In 2015 I finished the Erie Marathon in 3:25:35

By looking at this you can see that there has been a big drop off since my career year in 2015. When I finished the thought came in my head, enough is enough. Either I have to re-dedicate myself to this or come to the realization that I am done. Time to find a place on the senior circuit where I can be the guy that everyone points at and say look at that sweet old man doing a marathon…. How cute. 

I was in a similar situation in 2014, I was about to hang it up. My brother Kevin called me out and said “bull shit”. He set me up and was the driving factor in what was my best year running. I got my best time in both the Half and the Full marathon that year. Both times, 8 years later, are still my best times in those events. 

Although I had a decent year in 2016, However,I was not putting in the work that I was in 2015. I can list you the reasons why, but running as a priority in my life has moved down the list. 

It continued in 2017, which was one of the most trying year of my life. I lost 2 of the most important people in my life within a few weeks of each other. My family was forever changed.Running was not anywhere near the top of my life. My result in the Empire State Marathon in Syracuse NY. 2 years after I ran my best marathon in my life I barely broke 4 hours, more than a half hour slower. My wife thought that I was going to die. I fell before the finish line, I cramped up and could not move. I did manage to get up and cross the line. I was done, I didn’t want to admit it but deep down I was finished with marathons. I never verbalized it, but I never wanted to put my wife through that again. The tears in her eyes told me everything I needed to know. She did not want to see that ever again. 

I continued to race between 2018 and 2022, with the largest distance I did was the half marathon. I ran 5 of them with my best time of 1:38 in Buffalo in 2019. As I went into 2022, I was done reaching any goals, I was going to run for fun, I didn’t care anymore about PR’s. I was just going to have fun.

Around May of 2022, I started to get the itch again to run a marathon. I decided to run the Philadelphia marathon in November. My brother Kevin decided to run it with me. My sister Denise also decided to participate in the weekend's events as well. This was the first time all three of us participated in the same event since my return to running in 2009.  My wife was supportive, she is my biggest supporter and I know the memory of 2017 was in her head but she knew that this day was coming. I trained to finish the race and I did. I had a great time and was happy to be back to running marathons. 

I signed up for the Buffalo Marathon this year. I was going to have some fun with my two kids who signed up for it. They ended up deferring until next year, so I started to train to do well in it. I was feeling pretty good until a few weeks before the event when I was in incredible pain in my mouth due to an infected tooth. I stopped training and had to deal with that. I decided to run it anyway and I finished it in barely under 2 hours. For some reason I was not discouraged, but felt more motivated than I have since 2015. 

I am not going to be that cute old man running marathons. I am not done dreaming. In the movie “Rocky Balboa” Rocky told his friend Paulie that there was still “stuff in the basement”. After last Sunday I realized that there is a ton of stuff left in the basement. I may not PR anymore or even Qualify for Boston, but I am not ready to ride off into the sunset just yet. I am better than what I have been showing. 

I want to thank several people that have helped me realize this. My wife, my brother Kevin, sister Denise , my kids and EVERYONE IN THE EAGER 2 RUN GROUP. I will be posting here on a regular basis to keep myself honest. 

Let’s do this!!

Why I run

(This was a Blog entry I wrote on 3/25/2014 Much of it still holds true today) Today is the day before they announce the people who will make this years New York City Marathon. Once again I have entered the lottery, but I don't expect that lightning to strike twice( I got in last year). While I wait ( for some reason I am a bit nervous, not sure why), I thought I would share some of the reason why I run.I know I have written about this before , but sometimes it is good to revisit it.

A couple days ago  a server at a local restaurant that my family frequently visit came and asked me if I was running "The Color Run" that is coming to Buffalo in August. I told her most likely not, although those types of races look like a lot of fun , they always seem to land while I am training for something else and I am afraid that I will get injured .She then said to me that she always tells the story about how I got back into running
Back in May of 2009 after a night of heavy drinking my sister called and said she signed up for the Wineglass Marathon in Corning N.Y. She convinced me that I should run it too and in my drunken condition , it was pretty easy to convince me to do pretty much anything, so I signed up. I forgot about it until the next morning when I saw the confirmation email and saw there was no refunds, I believe the first words out of my my mouth were "oh crap".

Picture of me during a night of drinking,
no that is not my real hair

At that time I was turning more and more frequently to alcohol to help relieve the stress and increasing depression that I was feeling. I was allowing the stress of life beat me and turned to drinking to help ease that stress. I was becoming less and less like the person that I used to be. People wanted "the old D.J.back" and I couldn't figure out how to get him back, so I drank.

I started to train, it was not easy . Although I was a pretty good runner back in high school ,20 years had passed and  I was not in the best of shape . A funny thing happened , I started to make better decisions in my life, my marriage and the old D.J. started to come back. I finished that marathon and became hooked on running. Now 5 years later I have run 6 marathons , and countless other races . I have not heard " I want the old D.J. back " in a very long time . I do not rely on alcohol anymore to relieve the stress of life, I rely on my family, running , my friends and my own attitude to get through things. I do like to have a drink ( or drinks) once in a while, but I do not let it control me like I used too.

My brother and I after the 2013 NYC Marathon, it was always my dream to run this race.
It was even better running it with the Wouk!

So I run to be me.

I run so I can be the person that my wife and kids say they can be proud of .

I run to show that no matter how far you fall from who you really are , you can , with effort, get yourself back .

I run to try to inspire others, it is the only way you can truly repay those have inspired you.

I run to feel healthy , both mentally and physically .

I run to make new friends, I am so thankful for the ones I have made.

I run to honor those who can't run for whatever reason

I run to give thanks to God for giving me another chance at a happy life

If I don't get into New York , I will return to the Wineglass Marathon to celebrate 5 years of the best decision I have ever made while I was drunk!

Running in Rye

There are few people in my life that can motivate me like my little brother Kevin can. At least once a year I try to make the trip out and spend a weekend with him and his wife. I always leave feeling refreshed and ready to take on the challenges that life has to offer. Beside my wife and kids, Kevin (A.K.A "the Wouk") is the closest person to me. He knows me well and is not afraid to call me out when something is not right. It really annoys me, but I appreciate that. 

 On this trip, I brought my daughter with me. She has really turned the corner with her running life and I thought it would benefit her to make the trip and spend some time with Kevin, Kristen and their coaches and teammates. I thought that she would get a lot of work in, get a different perspective on her running form and leave Rye feeling stronger. 

She did and I did too. I was only planning on doing some laps around the track as she worked with the coaches. The next thing I know I am on the starting line doing intervals with my brother's team. 

Up until then I was having some issues with my breathing (post COVID), although it has been getting better, I convinced myself that I was not ready for any type of speedwork. However, when the coaches call your name, you better respond. 

I was in horrible shape, and I finished last in every interval I did, but I felt great and felt energized that I am on the right track. Later that day I made a deal to run with my brother at the 2023 Boston Marathon. That means alot of training just to qualify. I am going to do it.

It has been almost two weeks since my trip to Rye and I have added intervals back into my workout calendar. With the workout program I am doing, changing my diet and most of all changing my attitude about what I can do. I believe that I will be a successful 50+ runner. 

50

 On December 10th of 2020, I turned 50. I have to admit that his one hit me kind of hard. 

I am officially old and I started acting like it.

It didn't help that there was a pandemic going on and we were all trapped in our houses with nothing to do but watching Netflix and eating crap. I liked washing down that crap with an occasional beer. It also didn't help that I work in a dining hall at the local college and at this college they have an exceptionally good bake shop. As a manager in this location it is my duty (or at least that is what I tell myself) to sample the items that we served the students. 

I was also recovering from two separate injuries at the time, well not really separate, but the same injury in both legs. I am not sure what I did but both Achilles tendons felt like they might of been torn. Of course I never went to the doctor because I didn't want them to tell me I had to stop running. Because of the fact that I did not take the needed break to heal I ended up developing a massive pain in my foot as well. I still kept running, or at least tried to. 

In March of 2021 I came down with COVID, I am not entirely sure where I got it, I want to believe that it was from the local Walmart, but it was more likely from the local bar I went to to have a pint of Guinness with some friends to celebrate St. Patty's day. This is my wife's theory and she is usually right (I hate that).

The thing about that is, I was forced to rest. I didn't leave my room for 10 days and although I was blessed to have an extremely mild case of the virus, it helped my body heal. When I got back to running my legs and foot felt 100% better and was running with very little to no pain. 

Things were pretty good, until things got warmer.

When the heat and humidity started cranking up I noticed that I was having a hard time breathing, my heart rate started going up on even the simplest of workouts. My chest started to feel like it had a rock in it. I got to a point where I could barely run a mile without stopping. It was also showing up in my everyday life as well, if I exerted myself in any way. I would start to feel the symptoms coming on. Post COVID is no joke.

With everything going on from my birthday on, I gained over 20 pounds. I was at the heaviest I have ever been, I was about ready to throw in the towel and accept the fact that this was my life now. I was going to take pride in the fact that my man boobs were getting larger and that my belly was getting round. My golden years will be me being a fat old man reminiscing about the golden days and being tortured about what could have been.

Laurel Run 2021 in Silver Creek NY.
Definitely a low point in my running career

I was getting depressed, and was about to hit an all time low when my wife came to me about this program called E2M (Eager 2 Motivate), a friend of ours was doing this program and was having great success with it. It is a get fit program that concentrates on proper diet and exercising the whole body. I discovered that there are some co-workers, former classmates and other friends who are in this program as well. They are all achieving such wonderful results. We decided to join, and I am glad we did. After a rough first week, I am starting to feel so much better. Although I am still struggling to breathe at times, the symptoms  have been getting better. I am glad we joined and love the support we have been getting through the program from the coaches and fellow team members.

So I decided to start this journal detailing the good and the bad about being a runner on the other side of 50. I have decided to look at the experiences of the last couple years as way of my body telling me I need to refocus and start anew. I am looking forward to what this will bring me, I am setting new goals, meeting new people , reconnecting with old friends and most of all making my relationship with my wife an even stronger one. I am believing that some dreams that I thought were dead, are not. I will detail those dreams in some future posts. 

But for now, I am embracing who I am. That is a husband, father, brother, friend and runner on the other side of 50.